My name is James Doyle and I am a 20-year-old college student attending video production classes based in electronic newsgathering. Until recently I was also a smoker.
Okay for the last few weeks and going onto months I’ve been trying to quit smoking. I made this blog because I am so fed up with the problems it’s giving me that I am just done. Today is day one of cold turkey. I guess it isn’t technically cold turkey. Since august I have been waning myself off of cigarettes. I haven’t bought a pack in over 2 months now. So I know what you’re thinking, it’s been 2 months what do you mean you haven’t quit smoking? Well its simple, I associate with smokers and being around them I’m constantly offered cigarettes. I usually turned them down but I keep backsliding every so often. I don’t mean every so often like every other day or week. I mean like it’ll be offered to me everyday for a month and one day I will finally give in after having a rough day. So I am writing a journal to help me stop smoking if you care to follow that would be cool if not I understand.
I”ve figured out that I smoke for one of 5 reasons typically
1. I’m board and have nothing to pass the time.
Maybe I’m at a concert and it’s in between sets, maybe I’m Driving somewhere or maybe I’m on break at work.
2. It’s an incredibly social activity
So it’s a good way to just unwind and sit with friends while having a conversation
3. After a meal, it was something I used to enjoy.
4 I crave one and give in.
This one isn’t something I succumb to anymore and haven’t in a while. The reason being as time goes one and you get to know me is that I don’t have an addictive personality. I don’t get addicted to substances chemically. I was raised on codeine for headaches and light pains so I find that things like painkillers or chemically addictive substances don’t really affect me or give me any real added benefit.
5. Its a habit during/after certain activities.
This is my problem. I am Habitually addicted to smoking. This means that the chemical addiction aspect of it doesn’t bother me. I don’t go through withdrawals and I don’t crave a cigarette or tobacco it just something I do because I am used to doing it during certain times. I’d like to think that I have been good about breaking this habit but the problem is a habit isn’t an addiction. Its not something where if you tough out withdrawals you’re home free. Its something that was ingrained in your daily actions or routines for whatever you did.
Now why say never again now, why not back in august when you were trying to quit at the beginning? The answer is long and complicated. It used to be I had a cigarette whenever I got stressed out. Usually this was on a shoot for a dj and I had hired help that was incompetent of the job they were supposed to do, before an exam or finals week, on nights when I had a really shitty work schedule and I was getting dicked over at work. I had an amazing relationship with a girl that I fucked up. She never liked smoking and always tried to get me to quit. Why did she want me to quit? She wasn’t one of those types that were on a high horse, she just wanted what was best for me and we were thinking about having a serious future together. Now that were separated she asked me to do one thing. “Don’t ever settle for less than you deserve and never sell yourself short, you need to live a happy healthy full life.” She was right. I can’t raise a family and expect to live long enough to see my children grow old if I died at the age of 50 or 60 because of some stupid habit I should have never started.
Now I continue this quest, and despite my being a scumbag she is still here for me and does what she can to support me. I need to kick this habit once and for all, and I AM going to do so. Last night I went out with friends one of whom smoked and offered me a cigarette. “I” took it for reason number “2”.
I didn’t even finish it. I used to smoke menthols and only menthols it was a camel light and with out that minty taste that came with them I couldn’t even finish it. I nearly puked.
So now how does this affect you guys… well it doesn’t. If you want to leave comments or send me a message letting me know how you stopped or if you’re trying to stop let me know I am always looking for friends who want to help me stop smoking or who want to quit. If we can get a small group together of people who are all trying to quit I think it’ll increase all of our chances.
I guess I should leave this with a question…
You guys know my reasons for smoking and why I’m ready to quit what are your reasons you smoke, are you trying to quit, are you not looking to but want to say something, what has helped you if you already quit?